R...

 

I think, in honesty, R was going through a similar process of unacknowledged self-discovery as I was.  He was the slightly podgy, very speccy, adopted (as we later found out), son of a clergyman who'd had a variety of bases over the years.  Now the extra weight was off, the contact lenses were in and he was ready to GO!


And good for him.  He was undoubtedly, one of the best looking men in our year at university and he, unlike me, was going to make the most of it!

I met him through L - they lived in the same halls - and we all did the same course.  We soon - me, L, R and U became a 'mini gang' - and it was great fun - there's no denying it.

R would often put his foot in his mouth to great acclaim - the 'you're not bad looking yourself' line that he'd inadvertently come up with was often repeated in an attempt to bring him down a peg or two but his charm won out every single time.





I, occasionally, for some reason, seemed to take it upon myself to act as his moral guide and guardian.  Quite uninvited, it must be said.  I'd berate him for treading on other men's sexual territory (including my own) only to be ignored time and again.

His self-exloratory was as untempered as my own.  He has the 'rubbish hippy' phase too.  And one involving a leather jacket with Lenny Kravitz painted on the back.  And one where he was going to be a writer.  And another when he was going (at my invitation) going to be my guide into christianity.

 

The girlfriends came and went.  And came and went.  And a small smattering of men fell for him too.  I remember, one night, when he'd been out on the prowl, he came knocking on my window (I was on the ground floor) for a drink, a smoke and some sympathy for his unfruitful prowling.  I was in bed and answered the 'door/window' wrapped in just my duvet.  "Are you naked under there?" he said.   "Yes" I said.  "Give us a look then" he said.  Maybe I should have done.

He said, from the outset, that our friendships were going to be shortlived.  He saw this as pragmatism.  We saw it as desparately uncommitted and sad.  People move on.  They drift apart.  They remain friends for ever.  They lose touch.  I thought about him alot.  I probably fantasised about him too.  He came to visit me at home - he slept with two of my female friends.  Maybe more.  He told me, on the first visit, that my friends were more fun than I was.

He's married now and has three children.

We're still in touch.